How wonderfully the Torah tells this
story. Jacob travels far from home in escaping his brother Esau's
wrath when he deceived his father Isaac and acquired, some say stole,
the blessing of the first born. Jacob travels hundreds of miles from
home to his mother Rebekah's family for shelter and in search of a
wife.
We are familiar with the story of
how Jacob falls in love with the beautiful young woman Rachel who like
himself is the younger of two siblings. Jacob had his older brother
Esau and Rachel had an older sister Leah.
In Biblical days the prospective
husband paid a bridal price for his new wife who would then leave home
and become part of the husband's household. Jacob arrived at Laban's
home with nothing more than the shirt on his back and so when he fell
in love with Laban's younger daughter Rachel he had nothing to
offer but his own labor. Laban drove a hard bargain and Jacob agreed
to work for seven years for Rachel's hand in marriage. Jacob loved
Rachel so deeply, you can feel the romance and love in the Torah's
words "So Jacob served for seven years for Rachel and they seemed to
him but a few days because of his love for her."
The wedding night came and Jacob and
his bride were wed. In the morning Jacob happily awoke and looked over
to his new wife expecting to see his beloved Rachel and lo and behold,
he sadly saw it was the older sibling Leah lying next to him. I
recently discussed this story with an upcoming Bar Mitzvah and I had
to confess that I wasn't quite sure how this could happen and I am
still a bit baffled by it all but happen it did. Maybe he got
plastered at the party.
Jacob had every reason to be
incensed at the occurrence. With well deserved indignation Jacob cries
out to his new father in law "why did you deceive me?" Laban responds
to Jacob "In this place, it is not the custom for the younger sibling
to wed before the older. We are now waiting for Jacob's response. He
might have said something like: How dare you act in such a deceptive
way. That you did this is disgraceful and I demand now to have Rachel
in marriage as well. In those days, a man could have more than one
wife. But Jacob says nothing of the kind. Jacob is silent. Instead of
lashing out at Laban, out of weakness, he negotiates the best deal he
can for himself. He will be allowed to wed Rachel after waiting seven
days for the price of working another seven years for Laban who was a
hard person to work for, let alone live with.
Why was Jacob silent rather than
protest Laban's gross deception? What could Jacob say? What moral
ground did he have on which to stand? Could a deceiver protest the
deception of another? In telling Jacob that we do not marry the
younger sibling before the older, Laban was in effect saying and not
like you Jacob, a younger brother who stole the blessing of the first
born from your father Isaac. Laban was in effect chastising Jacob and
giving him a taste of his own medicine. Not only does Laban make this
point but the Torah wishes to as well. The word Jacob uses to Laban in
asking why did you deceive me reemeetani is the same root that the
Torah uses in describing Jacob's deception of his father Isaac which
he did b'meermah, "deceptively . In other words the Torah makes the
point "what goes around comes around."
To make the plot even thicker, the
Midrash says that Rachel and Jacob had a secret code to prevent such a
happening from occurring. So how then did it occur? Rachel, out of
concern for her older, and not nearly as attractive, sister Leah,
revealed the secret code to her. Is Rachel another deceiver or does
she display a sympathy for her older sister that Jacob was lacking for
his brother Esau? Was Rachel a Tikkun, a corrective for Jacob's
misbehavior. In conveying this story, I can't help but repeat again
what a Bat Mitzvah said to me some years ago, "Rabbi, these families
in Genesis are so dysfunctional." It's true. In reading these stories
of our patriarchs and matriarchs, it makes us feel that our own
imperfect families have a chance as well.
The Torah's lesson is valuable here.
Be careful how you live today because it will have definite
repercussions on what happens in your life in the future. I believe
this is true. We could all find exceptions but it is true more often
than not. The business man who cuts corners, takes advantage of
employees, suppliers, competitors eventually pays a heavy price in the
future. This is true in how ethically we conduct ourselves in our
personal lives, with our spouses, family and friends. How often do we
find ourselves saying "it's a small world?" How we act today will have
an impact for good or bad somewhere down the road. Some people think
that you never have to pay the piper but I believe it is more the case
that whatever goes around comes around. People that are kind and
caring and ethical and generous and charitable invariably find life's
goodness returned in kind. Again, not always but I find it to be the
case more often than not. I seldom find unkind people to be happy.
Good, kind, ethical and generous people invariably are.
I really love this story of the
Torah because it packs such a swift and powerful punch. I love the
Torah's usage of language. I don't delight in Jacob getting what he
deserves. I feel bad that he doesn't awaken with the chosen one of his
heart but I am struck by the fact that Jacob can't even argue with
Laban's deception. Yes, people who live in glass houses can't throw
stones.
We would all be wise and do well to
be careful how we live today. We would be wise to make careful and
moral choices for our behavior because nothing we do exists in a
vacuum. The deceiver gets deceived. Our actions today will have an
affect on our lives at some point in the future. It's all connected.
Yes, its true what goes around comes around.
