A few weeks after the New
Year, I received the ultimate compliment regarding that piece
on kindness. One of our kids who came home for the holidays
from one of the more prestigious colleges e-mailed me and
asked me for a copy of that brief reading. It must have hit
home. Here it is. “ Scrawl it on the wall: Random kindness
and senseless acts of beauty. Breaking into the school and
painting a dirty room bright colors overnight. Fixing broken
glass in people’s houses while they’re gone. Leaving full
meals on tables in the struggling part of town. I fantasize
slipping grocery money into the old lady’s purse, secretly
painting daffodils every grey place there is.”
You remember the song by Hal
David and Burt Bacharach sung by the Carpenters and the
Supremes “What the world needs now, is love sweet love,
it’s the only thing that there’s much too little of. What the
world needs now, is love sweet love, no not just for some, but
for everyone.” We do need love but its not the only thing
that there’s much too little love. There’s not enough random
and not so random acts of kindness in our world Another song
we sing, not as big a hit as Love sweet love and it was never
sung by the Carpenters or Surpremes but it is sung by Cantor
Paul Frimark when we wrap the Torah on Shabbat morning and
we sang it today Al Shelosha Devarim Haolam omed, al
haTorah, v'al ha-avodah v'al gimeelut chasadim. The
world stands on three pillars - on Torah, on service to G-d
and on acts of loving kindness. Love and kindness in fact go
well together. Kindness is one of the pillars that supports
the world. Without kindness, the world could not survive.
Today, we read the heart
wrenching story of Abraham’s binding of his son Isaac. He saw
his father lift a knife to.... and the fateful act was
aborted at the last minute. We can only dimly imagine how that
experience, that almost act of violence left Isaac. I find
myself wondering about how painful and traumatic life
experiences leave all of us. Isaac’s story is so powerful
because it resonates within our own psyches. We have been
wounded in ways by our parents, siblings, friends, spouses,
children, colleagues. We have been wounded by life
experiences, by illnesses which we survived, by illnesses
suffered by loved ones, by loved ones who did not survive. We
are all in need of kindness to sustain us. We have also
wounded and disappointed others along the way and so we are in
need of extending more kindness to others in our lives.
Thankfully for Isaac and for
us, Isaac survives this ordeal. He survives but is never the
same. Soon after this trauma, he suffers the loss of his
mother Sarah. Just when this young man needs his mother’s
comfort, he is alone.
When the time comes for Isaac
to choose a life’s mate, Abraham, in a more generous moment
than what we read today, sends his chief of staff Eliezer to
find a wife for Isaac. I love this story for a number of
reasons including the fact that Eliezer which means G-d will
be my help, is my Hebrew name so here I am setting out to find
a wife for one of our patriarchs. Abraham’s only criterion
is that Eliezer must not choose a wife from amongst the local
rif raf, the Canaanites. He was to go back to his birthplace
and find a wife for Isaac. If Abraham were writing the ad
forJDate, which I heartily endorse, all it would have read was
no one who lives around here and best if you’re from my home
town far away and willing to relocate. Eliezer has deeper
criteria. Maybe Eliezer and Isaac had talked and Eliezer knew
what kind of woman Isaac hoped for. Eliezer arrives at
Abraham’s home town. I’m not sure what the men were doing but
the women were out and about tending to the flocks. Eliezer
prays to G-d. This is the first prayer recorded in the Torah.
“Grant me good fortune O G-d and deal kindly with me. Eliezer
sees the women tending to the flocks and he thinks, the woman
who offers him what to drink and even offers to fill the tanks
of his vehicles which means giving water to the camels will be
the one with whom he will try to arrange a match with Isaac.
Eliezer thinks that if he secures such a find, he will know
that G-d has dealt kindly with him - a not so random act of
kindness.
But why is Eliezer looking
for a woman who will water his animals? More than Eliezer
was asking for kindness from G-d, he was searching for a
special woman who would immediately express a random act of
kindness. The woman who first appears and offers Eliezer a
drink and offers to water these thirsty creatures is Rebekkah.
The Torah describes Rebekkah as especially beautiful,
beautiful in her appearance and more importantly beautiful in
her kindness.
I love the rest of this story
even more. It just so happens that the weekend I planned to
ask Janie to marry me was the Shabbat in the fall that we read
this story in the Torah. As I read through the Torah that
week, I saw Eliezer’s words to Rebecca asking for her hand in
marriage for Isaac and Rebekka said yes. That was a good
sign. I thought if these words worked for my biblical
namesake, I could find no better words to propose to Janie.
Just after lighting the Shabbat candles, I spoke Eliezer’s
words to Rebecca to Janie in saying ? hateylchee im
ha-eesh hazeh? Will you go with this man. For Janie
these words needed no translation but like Rebecca would
require relocation. And like Rebekka, part of Janie’s
beauty is her endless acts of kindness.
Isaac and Rebekkah meet. When
Rebekkah saw Isaac for the first time, she covered her face as
apparently was the custom then. We have maintained that custom
to this day in the bedeken ceremony before the Huppah. More
important than seeing the physical appearance as beautiful as
Rebekkah was and as beautiful as all brides are today, are
the qualities of the soul. This chapter and story end with the
words “Rebekkah became Isaac’s wife and he loved her and Isaac
found comfort after his mother’s death. Rebekkah’s kindness
gave Isaac that comfort. We like Isaac are in need of that
kindness that could bring us each that comfort.
We might almost imagine
Isacc’s survival as a miracle of sorts. At the 11th hour the
ram appeared caught in the bushes and Abraham was told to
sacrifice the ram in place of his son. We sound that ram’s
horn today and in hearing the piercing sound we celebrate life
and survival. There have been many times in our history when
the sword was at our necks and indeed our very survival was in
doubt. We are not exaggerating at the Pesach Seder when we say
“It was not only once that they stood up against us to
annihilate us and the Holy One saved us from their hands. If
we made a list of the most threatening times in our history,
ranking at the top would be the year 70 of the common era. The
Romans destroyed our Temple
in Jerusalem. How could we survive without our Temple, the
center of our spiritual life. With the Temple in Ruins, all
seemed lost. The sword had reached our jugular. A great rabbi
of that time was Rabbi Yochanan Ben Zakkai. As the story
goes, when the Temple was destroyed and Jerusalem lay in
ruins, his disciples smuggled him out of Jerusalem in a coffin
though he was still alive and he was able to establish a new
center of learning in the city of Yavneh. One rabbinic text
tells the story that soon after they had left Jerusalem Rabbi
Yochanan’s student Rabbi Yehoshua said to his master in
Hebrew Oy Lanu. Do you know what Oy Lanu means.
Oy lanu means Gevalt Oy to us. How will we survive now
without the Holy Temple the place, Rabbi Joshua says, where we
find atonement for the sins of Israel. Rabbi Yochanan replied,
“It’s O K my son. We have yet one means of atonement, one
means of forgiveness which is just like the service in the
Temple. And what is it? Gimeelut Chasadim It is
acts of kindness. The future of the Jewish people is to be
based on kindness. Kindness is a powerful way of worshipping
and connecting with G-d.
I have long believed along
with the philosopher Martin Buber that G-d is to be found most
in the kind and loving relationships between and amongst
people. I have always wanted and want today and for tomorrow
that our synagogue be filled to overflowing with kindness,
random and not so random acts of kindness, filled with so
much kindness, that there is no room for acts we would call
unkind.
Some weeks ago, I was called
on to officiate at the funeral of a woman who died in her mid
eighties. This woman’s niece had asked me to officiate at her
aunt’s funeral. After a few minutes talking with the niece, it
was clear to me that her aunt had never been married. She told
me, however, that her aunt had a life partner and asked if I
would call this woman. In talking a bit more with the niece I
learned that, many years ago, her aunt’s family had rejected
this relationship and this woman. It took some years for the
family to come around. Just thinking about it made my heart
go out to her. I called her surviving life partner and spoke
to her as I would speak to any one else in a time of loss. The
surviving partner seemed to be holding up well enough under
her loss until she started crying on the phone as she said to
me “Thank you for being so kind.” It took a moment for me to
realize what she meant. These two women had met in 1956 and
bought a home together in the early 60s. I am sure they met
with more than their share of unkindness and I’m sure she was
wondering whether the rabbi would even call her. Would he be
judgment? Could he be sensitive to her loss? In the time I
spent with her on the phone, I did nothing extraordinary from
my end but it was clear for this woman filled with sadness, my
small act of kindness brought her great comfort. When the end
came, her lifelong relationship was respected by a rabbi .
When I met her in person the following day, she immediately
again thanked me for being so nice. We don’t have to do
summersaults to perform some act of kindness. It is really
easier than watering a strangers camels in fact and the
performance of a small act of kindness can have great impact
on the recipient. An even greater act of kindness can help to
repair the world. We might think it takes a Mother Teresa to
perform acts of kindness. Actually Mother Teresa once said “
Kind words can be short and easy to speak but their echoes are
truly endless.”
I have always believed and I
continue to believe deeply that kindness should be the
hallmark of our community at Ohev Shalom. G-d is indeed to be
found in the context of caring and kind relationships. In so
many ways we are indeed a kind, caring community. I was proud
when I received an e-mail from a young man who recently
married into our synagogue family. As part of a longer note he
wrote. “I’m glad you are able to officiate at the wedding.
I’ve always marveled at the kindness of the community and
congregation you have in Richboro.”
As important as our prayer
services, our programs, our meetings, our schools, our
building programs, our fund raising is how we are with each
other and the kindness we give to each other. Whenever we
interact with kindness, we create a space for G-d’s presence.
When we call someone we know is ill or hurting, we create a
space for G-d’s presence. When we visit a Shivah house and
bring a measure of comfort to someone who just suffered loss
we create a space for G-d’s presence. When we attend a daily
Minyan in our synagogue so we know that someone who needs a
Minyan can say Kaddish, we create a space for G-d’s
presence. When we bring food for Operation Isaiah before Kol
Nidre, when we bring clothing to our clothing drive, when cook
for the sick and elderly in our Cook a Friend we create a
space for G-d’s presence. When we treat each other with
respect and warmth and sensitivity we create a space for G-d’s
presence. To a great extent, we do create in our synagogue a
space for G-d’s presence but not always. I am saddened when I
learn of some act of unkindness that has no place in our
community.
I am saddened when a
colleague in our synagogue which means a member of our Senior
Staff or any member of our staff or faculty tells me that
they were treated unkindly or wrongly by a member of our
congregation. That a congregant would raise their voice, yell
or heard scream at someone on our Staff. In a synagogue called
Ohev Shalom, one who loves peace, there is no place for such
acts of unkindness.
I would like the theme of
this year 5767 for our synagogue to be kindness, random and
not so random acts of loving kindness. This will be the theme
in our Preschool and in our Hebrew School and in our community
this year. As we focus on kindness, we can become an
even kinder, more caring community. I value your input and
ideas into how we can become akinder community though I
caution you. If your idea is really good, I may ask you to
join committee to implement it. If your idea is great, I
might ask you to head the committee. So be in touch.
At the beginning of our
Senior Staff Meetings, we have begun to learn from the book
entitled Ahavat Chesed The Love of Kindness
by the great 19th and early 20th century sage the ChofetzChaim.
We have three new members of our senior staff this year, our
Pre-School Director Lori An Petranshky, our Edcuation Director
Hannah Sofer and our new Program Director beginning in October
Rachel Baum. They each bring a new spirit and a dynamic
quality to us. Working in our synagogue, I hope they will be
treated with kindness by us, and working in our synagogue, I
trust they will in turn treat us kindly. Learning about
kindness together is the best way for me to express how I
believe all those on our Staff should treat all members of our
community. It is a two way street.
Central to Judaism is study
and learning and so we begin our meetings learning together
and I am proud that we can all read from and follow the
original Hebrew text of the Chofetz Chaim.We have learned
that kindness operates on a different level from charity.
Charity is given only to the poor. Kindness is to be given to
the poor and the rich. No one has a portfolio so large that
they are not in need of some kindness and no one has a
portfolio so small that we can afford to overlook them when we
invest our kindness in others. Kindness can be given both
monetarily and in our deeds. So whereas the poor may be hard
pressed to give charity monetarily, they along with everyone
can perform deeds of kindness. The Chofetz Chaim teaches
that acts of kindness affect not only the recipient of the
acts but kindness so greatly strengthens the one who
performs these deeds.
Kindness and acts of kindness
will be the theme in all of our schools this year from
Pre-school up. I will soon be meeting with or Hebrew School
Faculty. We will be teaching Judaism’s traditional Mitzvot of
kindness, hospitality, visiting the sick, to the older
students we’ll teach comforting the mourners and more. As
important, our goal is to create and maintain an atmosphere of
kindness in our schools for our students. .
We know the story of the
great sage Hillel. When a questioner asked him to summarize
all of Judaism while he stood on one foot, Hillel said “What
is hateful to you, never do to some one else. All the rest is
commentary. Go and study.” Unless you want people to come and
yell at you, don’t raise your voice. Unless you want to be
insulted and abused, don’t insult and don’t abuse others.
The prophet Michah also
summarized all of Judaism in his teaching “What is it that G-d’s
desires of you. It is to live justly, to love with kindness
and to walk humbly with your G-d.
The leader of Tibettan
Budhism, the Dahli Lama, doesn’t differ much from Hillel and
Micah when he says “My religion is very simple. My religion is
kindness.”
If someone were asked to
summarize all of Ohev Shalom while we stood on one foot, I
would be satisfied if they said it is a kind and caring
community. If we are and when we are and we are most often,
then this is a place where the Shechinah, G-d’s spirit can
reside.
And so I invite you to
perform random and not so random acts of kindness this coming
year and I invite you to keep your distance from what is
unkind. Your simple acts of kindness will echo endlessly and
will help to support the world.
A wise leader once said “If
there is any kindness I can show or any good I can do to any
fellow being, let me do it now, and not deter it or neglect it
as I shall not pass this way again.”
Amen.
